Ending up as a friend may feel like hell for men who like their female friends. This is where they tend to get stuck in the friend zone while trying to impress their crushes and potential dates.
Now, this post is an in-depth guide complete with all the examples and illustrations to show you possible ways of getting out of the friend zone. Remember to share this article with other friends of yours who may be stuck in the friend zone and help them break the friend zone they are probably struggling with.
What exactly is the friendzone?
Friendzone is that category where the other person gets all the benefits of the relationship, they want from you and you get nothing in return.
If you get friend-zoned, you must have had one of these experiences…
After dinner, going on dates, giving her lots of gifts and even after being close to her, all you got, in the end, is “I am in love with someone else, BUT! You are my best friend. Please be with me always, my dear friend.” *WTF-moment*
“I am not interested in a romantic relationship, that’s not in my focus and priorities right now. And, as my best friend, you need to respect and understand that my feelings and decisions.”
And, listening to her “best friend” request and continue being with her, only to find out in the end that she has started seeing some other guy who is a complete jerk and nothing like her “type”. *Forever best friend zoned*
The “Nice Guy Dilemma”
She told you she only likes guys who care for her and who are nice. You did everything she asked you to do, you respected her, you were always there for her, never got angry at her, took her to dates, gave her gifts.
Then when you finally proposed, she said. “You’re a nice guy. But I don’t see you that way. Let’s be best friends, okay?” *Dumbfounded*
And my own personal favorite, the F-bomb:
“I know that you love me, but we are not sure about the future. Let fate decide what will happen to us. Until then, why spoil this beautiful friendship we have? Let’s stay as we are and enjoy our lives.” *Confused soul*.
First, Let’s Understand Why You Got Into The Friend Zone In The First Place…
Here are the possible mistakes you’ve made, which got you dropped into the friend zone.
• Did a big mistake completely turned her off?
Now by a big mistake, I mean you offended her beliefs or her family and friends. This is a big turn-off and puts you in an instant friend zone. Learn to be a bit more aware of other people’s emotions and be a bit more empathetic.
• Did not show her the perfect gentleman personality qualities
You did not show her the personality she wants in her partner. Instead, you showed her the character she doesn’t want to see. This turned her off and landed you in the friend zone.
• Did not follow the guidelines for physical attributes
You did not show her the physical qualities she desires. Even she is human, and she has her requirements. You did not meet them, so the friend zone is reserved for you.
• You got too desperate in the beginning stages
You were too desperate when you were with her. Your insecurities are apparent to women because they have something called women’s intuition. Women’s intuition is nothing but their subconscious ability to read body language. That’s why they can spot liars better and can judge people’s personalities better.
• You tried to become too physical right off the bat or you start it too late
Girls are offended when you are too direct when it comes to sex, especially in the beginning. They want it to be a romantic and a gradual ride. When you start too late, you do the opposite and make her think you are not interested in her. A perfect balance is key, without that, the friend zone is imminent.
• You did not show your masculine side and instead tried to become her girlfriend
You listened to her “girl problems” and went shopping with her and did girly things on dates with her. You were holding her purse while she was busy flirting around with other guys. You let her use you as a backup, and when she ignored you, you ran after her like a puppy.
You gave her relationship advice when you are in love with her You let her use you as a slave clicking cutesy girly pics and selfies with her
You let other guys flirt with her touch her etc. when you are with her.
• You showed signs of insecurity, laziness, weakness, anger, or a lousy ego
You made the traditional mistakes men do while dating. The list is quite long and is a separate article I recommend you read it.
In short, you showed her signs of showed signs of insecurity, laziness, weakness, anger, or a lousy ego, which are bad personality traits. These turn off women.
• You satisfied all her demands without getting anything returns.
This is the most classic mistake done by men. The whole reason why nice guys finish last. Dead last. Some don’t even finish. You have no self-respect and are doing everything she asks you do.
That is why you, my friend, are the president of the friend zone.
Let me show you a better example of a traditional friend zone situation…
Bob and Alice are close friends in college. As they both are quite alike in personality, Alice calls Bob, her best friend. Bob has been doing pretty much everything for Alice. He takes her places, buys her all the things she asks for, listens to all of her problems, and gossips with her. He also helps her out of trouble whenever she gets in trouble.
Bob, in reality, wants to be Alice’s boyfriend and not her best friend. Alice however, isn’t interested in having him as a boyfriend because she’s having all of her “boyfriend” needs to be met by Bob, without having to meet his girlfriend’s needs.
She can now be free, non-committed, and still, have all of Bob’s affection and boyfriend support without any investment on her part. This is the reason why Bob is stuck in the friend zone.
Things to do to get out of friend zone…
Become More Challenging – Make Her Work for Your Attention
Learn the art of being a challenging prize. Girls love romance and drama. The chase for your attention can cause her to develop extreme feelings for you. Don’t spend all the time you have with her.
You are the prize, not her. Understand that self-respect and self-love are the keys to success in dating. Get the skills and the confidence to go with it, and you’ve already won half the battle. You will not be stuck in the friend zone with a challenging personality instead you will break out of the friend zone.
Perception is reality
The way you are perceived matters a lot in dating. No one gett attracted to your personality at first sight. Your personality makes them stay in the relationship. But it does not bring them there in the first place.
You only get one chance to make a good first impression. Make sure it counts. Be a force of nature and she can’t resist, and the friend zone will avoid you like the plague.
Be Mysterious and Avoid Talking Her Ear Off
The least attractive man is the one who talks too much. To a girl, her mystery and drama are everything she yearns for in the relationship. They like the thrill and drama of it.
Now, the way you master the art of being mysterious is by being a man of few words. Don’t tell your life story when you guys just met. Once the story is over you’re done. Friendzoned is the boring guy.
Let Her Miss You
You are the prize, not her. Don’t be available for her 24/7. Be busy. Get a life. Work on your career. She is taking you for granted because you have been available at her beck and call, like her a personal slave.
Stop being her lackey and get to work buddy get some excellent gentleman skills. You can break the friend zone with your hard work.
Let Her Fix Her Own Problems
Don’t help her solve her problems. Instead, say no and tell her that she needs to figure it out on her own to grow up. This works best for the hot girls because they are used to guys doing everything for them.
Show them that you are different, and to them, they need to make you fall in love with them. It’s a game of cat and mouse. Do not be Rude just act the same way you would with a guy friend.
Keep Your “Feelings” To Yourself
Again, this connects to the “being her girlfriend” mistake. Why are you sharing all your feelings right now? Showing her your emotional side will only turn her off.
Things related to emotions come after you start dating, not before, and even then, you don’t dump your entire baggage on her like she’s your therapist.
Being too dramatic is a big turn-off and a warning sign to women. And you cannot break the friend zone by being needy and emotional.
Go On Dates With Other Girls Without Telling Her
Meet other people. Go out with them and have fun. Don’t tell her, instead, let her see you having a great time.
This will make her jealous since you are no longer dependent on her. In public places, talk to other girls. Make more lady friends. Introduce them to her. Touch them in front of her. Flirt with them or compliment them in front of her. She will feel left out, and these are the phrases she will use:
1) You have changed a lot
2) You don’t care about me
3) Let’s catch up someday
4) Now you have so many girlfriends, and you don’t even look at me
5) You’re flirty, you shouldn’t flirt so much with other girls
6) Make some time for me as well. Etc.
Flirt with Her
Flirting and making your intent clear is the ideal way to get out of the friend zone.Note that flirting works best when it’s just the two of you. Now, if you have already done all the things I recommended in the other guides, you will probably have no problem making her fall for you.
In the rare case that even after you do everything right if she still isn’t into you, then she isn’t interested in dating, or she is already spoken for. Don’t bother spending so much effort if she isn’t into you.
Take the Lead
A leader is a personality that never falls in the friend zone. Every girl wants to date a leader. When you show leadership characteristics she automatically takes notice of you. The core idea is to make her think that you have the potential makings of being her romantic partner.
When you are with her, take the lead. Take responsibility and show off your leadership prowess
Be a badass to steal girls from other guys. I learned it the hard way. Girls fall for powerful men who dare to take what they want. Break the friend zone.
This is a critical point that everyone ignores. All her new experiences should be with you. Your job is to give her new experiences she has never seen. Make her do things she has never done.
When she associates all the new and exciting experiences with you and you alone. The is a sudden rise in attraction. Your presence in her life becomes that much more critical. This can help you break the friend zone.
Timing Is Key
There is a proper time for flirting and pickup lines. Mastering the art of understanding the perfect times to use flirting, touch, and sexual escalation. When the timing is perfect, even a simple compliment creates a lot of attraction. Mastering this requires a lot of practice. You need to have plenty of interactions girls to master the art of flirting. This will make sure you are not stuck in the friend zone
Building sexual tension is next to impossible without touching.I‘m not saying you should be a grabby creeper. That would most likely get you from the friendzone straight to jail
What I’m saying is that you should be comfortable touching her and communicating your affection that way. like tapping her hand or tapping her back.
Tap only once or twice at a time. More than two and you are super-annoying and creepy
The touch has to be very soft. Very soft. Don’t tap like you tap the keyboard. Tap like you would tap a bird. Very soft touch
Don’t tap on the covered area. Tap at exposed skin areas near the arm or shoulder
This is recommended for those stuck in the best friend zone. This is one of the later steps. First, build attraction and then proceed with the touching. If you touch without creating appeal, you will end up in the blocked zone or worse behind bars depending on which country you are in.
Do not talk about what you can express with your emotions. Things like sex and kiss should never be talked about. Instead, they should be physically done. It should be escalated with emotions even without talking about it. The only exception is long-distance relationships.
Trust me on this one, when you clear your intentions at the right time you will not be stuck in the friend zone
Create Some Competition
Getting her to feel jealous about you seeing other girls is the number one way to get her attention. She needs to experience a lot of excellent and exciting emotions because of you. Jealousy is one of them believe it or not. The more she feels jealous of other girls, the more attracted she will be towards you. Women do not run on logic. They run on emotions.
Trying to gain a woman’s attraction through logical discussions never works. We have to arouse the other person and give them the emotion they want to feel for them to want to give us what we want.
Help her experience new things, new emotions, and she will feel to get her to feel attraction and love for you. And you will break the friend zone just like you wanted
Get Them To Invest More
Her investment in your relationship should be more than yours. When you can achieve this, the chances of her being more committed to you increase.
What do I mean by investment?
I mean that she has to spend a lot of time money and effort to be with you. Subconsciously, since she has done so much for being with you, she will naturally feel your importance in her life. Also, if you follow the other guides, you will automatically raise the level of attraction.
Ever heard of the catstring theory? If you give them something, they’ll play with it for a while and get bored. But if you dangle something around them, they will chase you with curiosity.
Never make yourself fully available and you will never be stuck in the friend zone.
Rewarding Her Efforts And Don’t Encourage Her Rudeness
Being rewarding when she listens to you and repay rudeness in kind. Tuning her out when she does not listen to you will tell her and her subconscious mind to do so.
Whenever she calls you a friend,try being a bit dismissive. If she shows romantic interest reward her. This might seem childish to many, but girls depend on their emotions and not on logic when it comes to dating.
By subconsciously tcommunicating this to her, you can create attraction in her mind, which will be converted to love if you show her the qualities of a perfect gentleman.
Tell Her What You Want
If you never ask her out, you will always be stuck in the friend zone. If you already built the attraction in her mind when you ask her out, she will say yes. If she does say that she wants to stay friends, then you need to understand that the friendship might not be emotionally healthy for you.
Being friends with someone you love, and seeing them flirt with other guys is torture. That can seriously mess up your emotional stability and can make you unable to focus on your life and career. You have to break the friendzone or move on.
The numerous guides I’m writing are for people like me who was stuck in this situation. I learned how to break free from it. And I’m confident you can too.
There will never be any shortage of girls. The only thing you need to do is get the skills to make any girl attracted to you. This takes practice, so don’t worry about it too much. Failure is just a stepping stone for success.
Leverage The Friendship
Worst comes to worst, ask her set you up with some cute girls. Some girls are just not into what you’re into. Super party girls won’t like silent intelligent type guys. That’s just how it is. Personalities need to be compatible for you guys to have that spark of romance.
So, in case she isn’t the one. Then make her set you up with some charming girls. Better to take advantage of being stuck in the friend zone.
Things To Avoid In Order To Get Out Of The Friend Zone
Talking About Other Guys.
Just don’t. If she doesn’t have a boyfriend, then banter “Let’s find a boyfriend for you” Then point to a fat ugly man. Lol. But if she has a boyfriend, proceed at your own discretion. If you are a beginner in dating, I recommend against it.
Learn to put yourself first: Don’t go around being eternally available everytime she calls. I’m not saying you should proactively avoid her calls.
. It just begs the question of what you’re doing with your life. Don’t you have things to do? A life to live? Your own path to follow?
Your purpose in life comes before her. She shouldn’t be your life’s purpose for a gang of reasons. A glaring one would be that she’d find it hard to respect you if your entire world revolves around her.
She might ask you to hold her bag for a while or pass something on the table or ask you to get something for her. DON’T.
Just say no. Don’t even make an excuse. Simply refuse. Tell her, “Nope. Find someone else.” You should know your worth aand have even an inkling of self-respect
You do not need to do what a random girl orders you to do (Everyone does it already. It kills the thrill. And girls like the thrill of the chase)
Feeling Sorry For Yourself
This is the first step of getting out of the friend zone. Realize that you have messed up. Understand what mistakes you made.
Now, instead of crying that you are in the friend zone fix the mistakes. Read the guides they are meant for people like you who want to improve their love life.
The moment you stop being sorry for yourself, you are ready for the next steps for getting out of the friend zone.
Calling and Texting Way Too Much
The most crucial step of getting out of the friend zone. Do not text and call her so much.
This shows that you are not desperate and that you have a life that does not revolve around her. This shows the traits of independence and mystery.
Not being too available also communicates abundance, confidence, and the essence of a successful life. By showing these qualities, you are raising your attractiveness in her subconsciously.
The main idea is to be in her mind, 24/7. The more she thinks about you, the more she will fall in love with you.
Caring So Much About Her. Showing Too Much Interest In Her.
Again, the reason you get friend-zoned is that she is taking you for granted. You are at her beck and call 24/7 365. And to her, you are just some guy.
You need to be different and stand out from the ocean of dudes hitting on her or doing her favors every day. This works best with the hottest girls. They are used to the attention of guys.
They can’t help but to feel attracted to guys who ignore themor at least does fuss over her very move. I’ve been there, done that, and have seen people doing it.
When the girl doesn’t want to talk, the guy runs after her pestering her. Don’t do that. Turn around and go the other way. She will call you then and there or later drop an angry text or call you up.
That’s your cue to make a move.
Talking About Sex.
Talking kills attraction and sets you in the friend zone, again.
Instead, I recommend making the interaction a little R-Rated. Make sure to build up the sexual tension between you nd her to the point that she’s the one looking for release!
Letting Her Use You
This is something that every guy in the friend zone needs to avoid.
Stop doing everything she asks you to do. You need to learn how to be independent and confident in yourself. Girls take advantage of nice guys, but they never want to date a nice guy.
Do you want to be her helper or her lover? Decide for yourself.
Girls tend to chat when they are bored. DON’T. Just say, “Hey, I’m tired. Going to sleep. I will talk to you later”. But stay online. Chat with your other friends. Learn something from Youtube. Or, keep visiting your messenger app or WhatsApp in case she is checking if you are online.
Most girls do.
They will tell you the following – You’re a liar, your last seen was blah blah blah. Just say, “yeah I was with my friend and he needed some help. “
Asking Permission and Being Submissive
Don’t be too submissive. Don’t say yes to everything she says. Learn to disagree.
Have a backbone and do everything with confidence. Even when you are saying no say no with confidence don’t give her any reasons.
Being confident will only turn her on, getting you out of the friend zone that much quicker.
Girls will always say that they should remain friends. For them, they get the benefit of enjoying with you without any commitment on their part. Since your main goal was dating and not friendship. The best way is to move on if she rejects your proposal. You are more important than her. Never forget this.
I hope you learned how to get out of the friend zone. The general idea is for you to be the best version of yourself.
I hope you liked the article and you were able to break the friend zone wall. Share it with your loved ones. Share it with those friends stuck in the friend zone so that they too can break the friend zone.
Never Give Up! Break the friend zone
Happy hunting, Gentlemen!