Modern Valor Dating

How To Get Over A Relationship – The Days That Follow

Every relationship has peaks and valleys but sometimes it’s time to call it quits. This could be for any number of reasons like she cheated, she isn’t sexually compatible with you, she wants a baby, she farts too much, etc.

For whatever reason you broke up (maybe she dumped you) there’s going to be a lot of thinking to be done, emotions to figure out, and evaluation that’s going to happen in the days that follow.

Now that the relationship is over, what are you going to do now? Are you going to cry in your beer? I hope not. Are you going to listen to a rendition of Who Gets the Family Bible? God, I really hope not. Or are you going to be a man about it and start working your way out of it? This is the right answer!

Let’s start going through what the days following a relationship might look like and how you should deal with it…

Start Filling In Your Time.

There’s a strong possibility that you had somewhat of a schedule going on with miss thing, especially if it was a long-term relationship. Maybe you spent three or four days together a week and did the same things week after week. Hell, you may have even fallen into somewhat of a rut. She’s no longer around so how are you going to fill that time?

My advice is to start getting back to you. You may have lost some of your identity in the relationship and it’s now time to reestablish that. Get back in the gym or start getting to projects around the house you’ve been meaning to get to or perhaps start writing the great American novel you’ve had on the back burner. Whatever you do, don’t wait for the motivation to hit you… just start.

Avoid Working it Out

If the breakup was somewhat amicable and you’re still on good terms don’t fall into the trap of trying to rekindle things. Be as objective as possible and logically think through if it was the right move to break up. If you broke up in the first place there’s a reason, right? Don’t be the on-again/off-again type of relationship.

You may feel tempted to shoot her a text or give her a call. DON’T DO IT! All you’re doing is putting a bandaid on a gunshot wound. If you feel that urge start reinforcing to yourself that there are better options out there than reheated leftovers. You’re the prize and should not be treated other than anything less.


A lot of guys look at this as silly or woo-woo but there’s something to be said for meditation. It helps you be able to focus and be in the moment. You may say “Yeah, but I can’t sit here and think about nothing for the next 20 minutes”. I hear ya, neither can I. The good news is there are alternative types of meditation that you can roll with.

I have an active imagination and my mind never stops running. It’s the worst if I wake up in the middle of the night because my mind starts racing. If you’re anything like me then you may want to look into NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) style of meditation. That’s where you construct images mentally and add yourself to the picture. It reinforces all the things you want to accomplish and the ways you want to perform.

Chill With Friends

In the midst of this relationship, you may have not been in regular contact with the homies. That can happen since you had other obligations but guess what? Now you don’t! Your friends may be a good support system for you and they may present new opportunities.

For instance, your boy may invite you to a party this Friday. Odds are you probably won’t feel like going but do it anyway. The good time you’re likely to have will be well worth it. Who knows who you may meet and the chance to grow your social circle could pay dividends down the road.

Start Taking Inventory of Yourself

I’m a big believer in health, wealth, and relationships. As you were caught up in the relationship you may have lost sight of leveling up. Maybe your purpose and passions got pushed to the side in one way or another. Now’s the time to start setting the ship on the right course.

Start setting some new goals for yourself. Maybe you could stand to lose ten pounds or maybe you want to bench 200 lbs. Maybe it’s time to set an actual budget and start saving or now that you have the time to pick up a few hours at work. Start learning about investing and how to make your money work for you. Also, take the time to be as objective as possible and reflect on what lessons you learned from your relationship and what positives you can take into the next one.

Check out the complete playlist for how to get over a breakup.

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