Hey mate, hopefully, you are approaching so far. Because Valentine’s day is so close when I was writing this article, I will talk about calibration this week. Calibration, which is how you know exactly what to say and do at the right time, is the key.
You will use it during your dates, starting from small touches to her shoulder or her hand until you will become intimate with her, in other words, until both of you are having sex.
There are three categories in calibration.
I call this “traffic light” system to make it crystal clear…
The first is red light
she will freak out after your escalation step. She can say things like “Hey!”, “are you weirdo?”, she has a severe face. You can clearly say she is not okay with the thing that you did—even touching! Because some women are not okay with touching, some women are not OK with kissing before sex; they only like kissing while having sex. For every category that I will talk about, you should not be over-reactive. You should always be cold-blooded. If you do not know what to do, do not say anything, just pretend nothing happened and it was not a big deal. Change the topic and move on. Continue where you left.
Therefore, for a red light, you must back up and say “Sorry” or “My bad, I will not do that again,” etc. Saying the word “Sorry” might be a problem psychologically. “Sorry” will give your power away because men supposed to be okay with their mistakes. It was not a big deal; it is a personal preference at the end of the day. You should not be apologetic.
The second light is yellow
Namely neutral responses. You will hug her; she will not hug you back. You will touch her. She will not touch you back. You will kiss her; she will be okay with that, but you do not know whether she is okay with the move or is not okay. That means it is the neutral response. In this case, give her time.
Try the same level of escalation later during the initial date. Especially on dates sit next to her. On the first date, she will most likely not okay with sitting next to you. Later during the date, give her commands like “Come, sit next to me, we are not here for an interview” this will smooth the vibe, lower the pressure on her.
Start with touching her hand and then shoulders, go for the kiss, but if you know that you can become intimate with her, keep the mystery, and not go for the kiss. This will keep her wondering about your feelings. Women are attracted to men whose feelings are unclear, especially at the beginning of the dating stage.
The last traffic light is green.
It means positive, she is complying with every move you have done, and you will do. You can clearly say she is into you. You are touching her, hugging her; she is also doing the same stuff. She is also touching you back, hugging you. Especially while hugging, she is squeezing you. This shows she is interested in you sexually. Some women are turned on because of hugging, so be careful with every step you will take.
You are kissing her, and she is also kissing you back passionately. You can amplify what you are doing in this case until you end up inside of her. This is called escalation. But calibration takes time, and you will have dates, which you thought incredible if we ask the same question to a woman that you date, she might say different because of calibration that you have. Calibration will take time, but if you do not want to burn your hand on the same oven,
So, there you have it, that’s how you know exactly what to say and do at the right time!
And, as you practice proper calibration you’ll need to be aware of certain things in a woman’s responses and behavior that indicates you can move forward and escalate. If you want to learn more about these “indicators of interest”, I’ve written an article that goes deep into it.
Here is the opportunity, I am offering a free coaching call. Book a coaching call with me for free. Afterward, we can start working together.
Good luck.
Hüseyin Valor