Modern Valor Dating

Reasons Why Guys Get Into The Friendzone

Reason 1: They’re too friendly.

If you treat a woman like she is just your friend, that’s just what she will be.  Guys constantly hang out with women they’re interested in and hold back their feelings because they are afraid the woman will react negatively.  I love it when women react positively or negatively when I flirt with them.  It’s feedback.  If she reacts positively, that tells you she likes it at that moment.  That’s a good sign.  If she reacts negatively, that means that she’s at least not interested in that moment.  If she tells you she’s not interested, then you know she’s not interested.  At least you found out.  Never hang around this grey zone between friend and potential romantic partner because it’s very confusing to you and her.  Actually, it’s mostly confusing to you.  You’re confusing yourself.  Women know if you like them or not.  If you don’t clearly express your intent (I.e. “I want to get romantic with you”), she can still tell you want to, but you end up looking like a coward.  You end up as just a friend.

Reason 2: They’re too needy.

Neediness happens when you need things to work out.  It happens when you have some perfect outcome in your head planned out, and you’re putting pressure on yourself to make it happen no matter what.  The truth is that you can’t really control the moment.  You can only control your behaviors and your actions.  Romance is a two-way street.  Both people must be feeling it.  Examples of needy behaviors include texting a girl multiple times a day with no reply, trying to prove yourself to her by showing off, making too big of a deal about the date and saying “what do you want to do” multiple times instead of just making a decision, etc.  When you’re putting too much pressure on yourself to make the date go well, it shows that you don’t talk to very many women.  So, why should she be interested in you?

Reason 3: They’re judgmental about sex.

Women want to feel comfortable expressing themselves sexually around you.  So-called “nice guys” are notorious for shaming women for expressing their sexuality.  Let them be sexual!  Stop getting uncomfortable when your female friend calls another guy hot.  Joke about it.  Accept it.  Humans are sexual beings!

If any of these points resonate with you, here is a starting point.  Do these things to make sure you are staying out of the friend zone, and in the romantic zone:

  1. Always show your intent.  You don’t have to flirt the whole time, just sprinkle it into the interaction.
  2. Have things going on in your life like hobbies, activities, projects, events, work, friends, etc.  Oh, and at least say hi to some other women during your day so you realize there are a lot of women out there.
  3. Embrace sexuality.  It’s an incredibly normal thing.

If you would like some guidance on your journey to becoming the best version of yourself, reach out to our coaches!  We have actual dating experience that we can use to help you move in the right direction.

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