Modern Valor Dating

The Truth About Breakups

The Unfiltered Secret Guide on How to Get Over A Devastating Breakup

Did you just have a recent breakup? Your girl cheated on you? Well, I know exactly what you’re going through, feeling like the world is ending. Dealing with a broken heart sucks man. You can only feel the pain and loneliness of the breakup. 

Let’s face it, the emotions which you are going through are awful, breakups hurt like hell. Trust me I’ve been there, heartbroken, hurt, devastated, and wondering what went wrong.

So what really went wrong?? I’m sure you’ve tried asking that. It’s just a whirlwind of confusion and uncertainty. You are probably not even sure what to do anymore. 

Hopefully, you decided to get over your ex and move on. So, what can you do to find that missing part of yourself? How can you move on from the relationship with your ex who you loved so deeply and used to spend all your time with?

breakup with ex

It’s not just you, everyone going through hard breakup experiences at one point or another. The answer is simple enough and yet not so easy to do. The answer is to be a better person, better than the person you were before. You need to level up as a man. 

That girl was not the right one for you. And if you are really this miserable because of her it means you loved her and she didn’t value the relationship as much as you did.

 What do I mean by leveling up? 

Let me elaborate on what you can do to move on from your EX:

First, take a deep breath to try to calm down. If you are reading this post on the day of the breakup then I know your heart is a mess. But you need to listen to your brain right now. 

Take a pen and paper and write down whatever comes to your mind after reading the following questions. Write it down. Also, write everything you are feeling right now at this moment.

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Why do I, as a person, exist, is romance and women the only thing I care about in life?
  • What did I do wrong in the relationship? Did I actually do anything wrong?
  • Is dating the only purpose of my life?
  • Did she really make me a better person? Did she help me grow as a man?
  • Is crying and worrying about my ex really going to help me right now?
  • Is fussing over the breakup worth more than my happiness, friends, family, and career goals?

I hope you feel calmer after doing this exercise. It will help you clear the unnecessary mix of emotions in your heart, and will give you time to mentally adjust to the situation as well as to actually think and not overwhelm yourself with emotions.

Now let me tell you why you feel the way you do right now and why it hurts. The reason is: You think your girlfriend is special and that you need her to complete you. You think she is your soulmate and you feel that you won’t get a better girl.

Reality check brother: She is just another human being. Putting her on a pedestal like some goddess or thinking that she’s “The One” is bordering on unhealthy not to mention how it’s too much for her to deal with. If you take a headcount of guys who cannot move on from their exes because she was special, you will find at least 10-15 million guys. So are there really 10-15 million special girls on this planet if not more? So how is it that you say she is unique again?

You see the problem here, right? You feel that your girlfriend is the best girl on this planet simply because you have not met anyone else better than her. This is also the reason why girls move on more easily after a breakup and guys don’t. Girls have lots of guys who are willing to take your role and you get replaced quite easily. You, on the other hand, have very few girls in your life. So stop thinking that she is so special. She is just another girl who at best might be slightly better looking than average. You are making her special in your mind and messing yourself up as a result. 

Did she really love you like she said she did??

The answer is probably not. Else why would she suddenly stop? Remember attraction is not the same as love. True love comes after you have been with someone for more than a year at least. By that time, all attraction settles down. The emotional high goes away. By then you are two people who know everything about each other and should accept each other as you are. 

If she really loved you she would do everything she can to fix the problems between you and her. Not break up and run away. It’s not that easy to break up with someone unless that person never truly loved you in the first place. She never loved you. It was just an attraction and emotions for her and not love. I know it’s a hard pill to swallow but understanding this is the first step to move on from your ex.

breakup with ex

How Do I Get Over My Ex FAST?

Now it’s time to clear your mind and start fixing your life. It’s not a one-day process as much as you wish it was. It will take time, but I can promise you, within one month you will be over her if you do all the things mentioned in this guide. It’s a continuous process that will fix your life not just now, but in the future as well. 

Take your time and go through each step. Only then will you be able to move on from your ex completely. So let’s begin…

Step 1: Make a list of why you should not date her

Make a list of why you should not date your ex. Get as detailed as you can. Write it on a big piece of paper and stick it in your bathroom and your room where you can see it daily.

You might think it’s weird or funny, it’s not. Trust me it works amazingly well. Make sure the list has at least 10 points. Otherwise keep working till you reach a minimum of 10. Be as harsh as you can because that’s how you are being to yourself. 

You are criticizing yourself about all the things you did wrong in the relationship. You should do the same with her. Be harsh and be real. 

breakup with ex

Whenever you feel like going back to her. Go through the list. It will help calm you down. You will keep getting emotional mood swings because of things that remind you of her. 

These emotions make it difficult to move on from your ex. This is one of the ways you can stop them from making you lose control.

Step 2: Make an EX Box

No, not Xbox, it’s an EX box that will have everything you have about your ex. Her pics, gifts, and anything related to her. 

Put everything you can find about her and pack the box and seal it tight. Then, give it to your friend. Tell him “Do not give it to me under any circumstances”

Better yet donate the gifts and things she has given. Help the poor and orphans. Trust me it works amazingly well. Plus, you’ll feel better about yourself. Two birds, one heartbreaking stone.

Delete all the ways that you can reach out to her. Delete her from your life. The less toxic people you have in your life the better. You want to be happy and have less toxicity in your life.

breakup with ex

This will make sure you don’t get reminded of her. It’s not fool-proof but does help a lot. Out of sight is out of mind.

If you are reminded of her, you will keep getting reminded of the breakup and all the emotions you felt during the breakup. Not something I recommend to anyone. So make an EX box

Step 3: Stay away from her

The most important thing for you right now is distance. If your ex says that she wants to be friends, say NO…!!!!

This is the number one mistake all the guys do. Why do you want to be friends with someone who broke your heart? And is (or will be) dating another guy. 

The only time you should be friends with your ex is when you are cool with her sleeping with your best friend. If you have zero issues with her sleeping with your best friend then you can be friends with her otherwise. No. 

And let’s be honest, you don’t want to be friends with her, you are just hoping she will regret her decision and come back to you. This is your way to get her back into your life. Terrible idea, but that’s what you are thinking.

Are you that naive that you would hurt your career? Family? Friends? You’d jeopardize all that to have her in your life where she will be dating other guys and you waiting for her as her backup option?

Have some self-respect, man. You are amazing and you deserve better.

And to those who are saying you can be friends with your ex. Yes, you absolutely can. You can be friends with the devil also. But is it good for you?

Do you want your next girlfriend to be creeped out by you and your ex going on “friendly” dates?

I personally would not date anyone too close with their EX-partners. It’s a sign of a toxic relationship and clinginess. Just imagine the headache when he/she sleeps over at their ex’s place. That’s a horrible way to start a new relationship!

Be smart, decisive, and have some self-respect. Stop trying to please everyone. Your happiness is more important than others. Being focused on your happiness does not make you selfish. It makes you a person with self-esteem. Love yourself, treat yourself better. 

Step 4: Make arrangements to stay away from your EX

I know it’s difficult to ignore your ex when she is your colleague or classmate. You will end up seeing her even if you don’t want to.

So what can you do?

Make arrangements so that you do not see her. In school or college sit at a different place. Change your seat. If you are clever enough to change your seat to get close to her then you are clever enough to make an excuse and change your seat to get away from her. 

If you are at a job, then change your desk location and ignore her. If possible, talk to your boss and say that you want your location changed as it will affect your productivity. Trust me they will listen when you say productivity. It’s their keyword.  lol…

Step 5: Join a Gym and workout.

Working out is a great stress reliever. You will be too tired to think about your ex. Listen to motivating songs. Whoever said listening to sad love songs helps needs to check his brains. 

It will only worsen the situation. Listen to motivational songs and workouts. Get fit and healthier. You will look amazing and feel amazing.

move on from your ex

Motivation is the key brother. You will feel a lot better. A better body will make you  healthy. You will also have better success when you date women in the future. Follow the other guides as well to learn the rest of the skills that will help you succeed with women and life in general.

Step 6: Bros before Ho*s

Pardon the language but this is a must. Stay with your friends who will help you move on. Friends are always there for you. Many guys make the mistake of hurting their friends for their girlfriends. They will spend time with their girlfriend and not their friends. 

move on from your ex

Never make this mistake guys. It’s a really stupid thing to do to your friends. Talk to them. Go out camping. Go out and have fun. That’s why you have friends. When you spend time with them you feel much better. After all, everyone wants to be loved. Your friends and family are happy to do that for you. Apologize if you ignored them before. 

Traveling with friends is the best cure to move on from your ex. It’s the best breakup remedy. Have good friends and make some new ones as well. 

Step 7: Face the truth… She is never coming back. 

Stop believing in fantasies and face the truth she does not care about you. The truth is that if she cared about you, then why would she hurt you and break up with you for no good reason? And even if there was a reason she would try to work it out rather than break up. I mean you guys are supposed to be life partners, right? 

If there was a problem she could have talked to you and fixed it. She decided to leave you. If she can do it once she can do it again. If she cheated on you then definitely run the other way. There are so many girls on this planet. Why do you want the lowest quality of girls, the ones who cheat and don’t love you for who you are???

Do you really want to face the difficulties in life with a life partner who abandons you when the going gets rough?

And the reality is most breakups with men happen when they are facing tough times. You are having a job or a business crisis. Worse, a health crisis. That is when most breakups happen. So stop thinking that it’s a bad thing. If you were well settled, earning well, and healthy chances are she wouldn’t leave you. Those girls are leeches that suck the happiness from you since they have no value to give to the world. Do you really want a life partner that abandons you when you need them the most?

Raise your standards. That’s the only way you will be a better person. You don’t want a horse cart when you deserve a Lamborghini. Raise your level and standards. You deserve much better since you are an amazing guy. 

Step 8: Try New Things

It’s the best time to learn new things. This is the time you need to improve your achievement list. Go ace a test. Get a promotion. Start your business. Work and explore all that you can do in life. Start working on your dreams. You are amazing and you deserve the success you worked hard for. Ignore the haters and keep grinding. Learn how to improve yourself daily. 

move on from your ex

You need other things to occupy your mind. Learn some skills which will help you in life and your career. Take care of your parents. Do some good things for people. Help orphans. Support a cause. The best way to better yourself is by helping others and expecting nothing in return. It’s time to level up brother. 

Step 9: Block your ex from all social media. Period

Block your ex from all social media sites. That is the only way you will move on from your ex. Out of sight is out of mind. When you see her pics with her new boyfriend you will only end up having a bad day. The only thing you will feel is sadness and regret. Why risk it? You deserve to be happy. A person who isn’t your supporter should not be in your life. 

breakup and block on social media

There are only a few people who truly care about you. To the point they would come running anytime you need them.

  • You
  • Your parents
  • One or two friends (If you are really lucky that is)

She is not one of them and by breaking up she has proved it. She made that choice when she broke up with you. Why would you spend any of your precious time for such a person like that? 

To find out how much time you have left to live if you are an average man or woman, take your age and multiply it by 365.  Then, subtract 27,375 days from it.

  • For example, if you are 25 years old, you have 18,250 days to live (27,375 days – 9,125 (because 365 x 25 = 9,125)).
  • If you are 50 you have 9,125 days.
  • If you are 65, you have 3,650 days.

Can you really afford to spend time on her? What about your goals and dreams in life? The biggest regret most people have in life is what they could have become but choose not to. Don’t make that mistake. Be all that you can be. A man’s goal in life should not be all about women. It should be his dream. Women are icing on the cake, not the cake itself. 

Step 10: Do not give in to your ex addiction. Never go back to her

There will be times when she calls you or messages you. You might accidentally end up meeting her as well. Frankly, you should just block her and be done with it if you ask me. She does not deserve the right to be in your life. 

“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me”

She is bored and she wants entertainment. You will be playing the role of the joker/entertainer. Backup at best. Is that what you want to be? If you do not have the self-respect to run away from such a toxic person then even god cannot help you. Stay away from your ex. 

Note: No offense to jokers. It just seemed like the appropriate word to describe the idiocy we insist on trying to get our exes back. 

Step 11: Poison is Poison. Ex is Ex

You need to learn to let go of people. I know it hurts a lot especially if you dated for a long time. But the breakup will show you her true colors. The fact is she chooses to abandon you and hurt you by breaking up with you. Whatever may be the reason for the breakup that does change the fact that she chose it herself. No matter what, do not accept her back. If she can leave once she can leave you again. 

breakup

If she is willing to leave you when you are struggling in life then she definitely won’t hesitate to do it again when you are going through a tough time. Never date an EX. It will only end up badly. With so many girls on this planet, why do you want to compromise?

You are amazing and you deserve someone amazing. Stop holding on to the past and let go. It’s okay you will find someone better. You really will. All you need to do is level up.

Step 12: Success is the Best Revenge

Do not get stuck on revenge. You are better than that. Many guys think that they should get revenge on their ex. No brother, any time you waste on her is useless. Even if it is for revenge. When you think of taking revenge then you just proved that she was right in dumping you. Instead, be better. Level up and be the alpha male that every girl wants and every guy is jealous of. The best part is it has nothing to do with your face or your looks. Be the guy who every girl dreams of dating. And yes it’s possible. The Guide to Being an alpha male shows exactly how you can do that. 

move on from your ex

Just imagine the thug life situation when she becomes speechless after seeing the new you. Better yet date someone 100 times better than her. Be successful in your career. Your happiness is the most important thing for you. Never lose sight of it. Get your grooming and style game fixed. Get a good haircut and a new beard style that suits you.

Let your success make the noise. She will come running back to you and that’s when you ignore her. Revenge through success is so sweet.

Step 13: Follow your passion not your ex

If you never had enough time to work on your passion now you have it. Dating takes a lot of time out of your life. You just got plenty of free time. Use it and follow your passion. Write the book you always wanted to write. Learn the skill you always wanted to learn. Learn a new language. Start a business. Start multiple streams of income.

move on from your ex

Your happiness and your success depend on you. Do not let anyone else tell you otherwise. Dating and finding a partner is not the end goal of life. Being free and making your goal come true is the real mission. Stop running after women. They are just icing on the cake and not the cake itself. Stop expecting a girl to complete you. That’s not her job. A happy relationship requires two complete people. It’s not about completing yourself. You are amazing as you are. Improve the things you want to improve in your life. Look good feel good. 

Step 14: Time heals all your wounds

If you just broke up then it will take time for you to move on from your ex. This guide will definitely speed up the process of you moving on. But it will still take time. Because of you constantly thinking about her in the past, your mind will naturally keep thinking of her. You need to slowly remove her from your mind. As more time passes it will get easier and easier. You need at least a month to completely get over it. Maybe more if you were together for more than 5 years. But remember time heals all wounds provided you stop thinking about her.

move on from your ex

You need to slowly and steadily replace her from your life. Replace her memories. Replace her completely. The more you practice the guide, the faster you will heal your wounds and forget her. Your mind and time are the only weapons that can truly save you. Keep working towards your goals instead. And remember: You are amazing!

Step 15: Spectator Point: Understand It.

How would you advise your friend who is going through the same thing? Think of the situation from a third-person POV. The advice you give them is the same advice you need to take. Let go of your ex. Let go of the toxic person.

move on from your ex

Whenever I talk to guys. All of them ironically say the same thing.

“It’s not that simple. You don’t know her. She is different. I’m sure she had some reason. I am sure I can get her back. Our situation is complicated.” Or some variation of the same.

Like wtf!? You understand the irony of the situation, right?

It’s not complicated, man. She dumped you because she never loved you or she doesn’t love you anymore. To her, you were entertainment. Girls are more emotional than men but they love based on emotions as well. If you are no longer attractive to her she will leave you. You served your purpose, she got bored now it’s on to the next guy. It’s female nature where they will try to find the best guy they can and why shouldn’t they?

Know your value. If you are not happy with who you are then you need to level up and be amazing. Understand that you are enough. Every girl will lose her beauty after 30. That’s life. Find someone who makes your life better, not harder.

Step 16: Will I find true love, Will I trust anyone again?

Yes, but not easily. And, that’s a good thing!

You believed her when she said she loved you. Now you know she didn’t love you the way she said. This mistake you made will make you smarter. Now you will pay attention the next time someone says they love you. Breakups are one of the best life lessons to help you become more mature. I honestly feel every man must go through it to truly learn and grow more mature. 

move on from your ex

Being smart requires you to make mistakes. Breakups teach you how to be smarter and more mature while selecting your partners. How will you learn without these mistakes?

Learn from it. Understand your mistakes and correct them. Never make the same mistake twice. The goal is to level up, not be perfect. Having a better, healthier life is always great.

Step 17: Say No to rebounds

Rebounds may sound like a good idea. And for some time you will enjoy them as well. I mean the romance and the physical part.

But what about the future? You never really liked her. You just used her (or, more accurately, you both used each other). That’s the reality, isn’t it?

Also, I know the type of women men choose when they want a rebound. It’s women with good looks and who have insecurities or are easy. It’s unfair to her and you just made another mistake and ruined someone’s life. And then you will break up with them. Because you never really loved them in the first place. That just made you the same as your ex. Is that how you want to be? Please don’t. Be Better.

Step 18: Say no to addictions

Do not become an addict. Many guys escape the pain and become addicts. Be it drugs, drinking, smoking, or some other form of addiction. Stop being weak. It’s time you became a real man who loves himself and takes care of himself. Self-love is key to being happy. Meditate and work out. Do yoga, be healthy, eat healthily.

breakup

The pain will always make you stronger and you must grow.

Broken hearts, hungry stomachs, and empty wallets teach the best lessons in life. Work hard and breakthrough it. You are stronger than you know. You are amazing and 10 years down the line you will be thankful for the breakup.

Step 19: There are plenty of fish in the ocean

There are around 7.8 billion people on this planet. At least 3-4 billion are girls. Out of which even if you take out the young and the old and the married and the ones who are in a relationship, you still have around 1 billion women left. 

You still have around a billion women left who are single. Now the number of people that are good looking as well as have a great personality are roughly 100 million. 

Just imagine. Out of those you have a million options in your own country. Stop crying for one girl when there is no shortage of beautiful women in the world. Even if you live in a remote country you will have at least 100k women that you can date. 

Then you will easily get any girl you want. You just need to make sure that she is worth being with you. You are the prize, not her.

Keep your standards high!

Step 20: Seek professional help

If you are feeling suicidal or trying to harm yourself. Or have fallen into chronic depression. Seek help. Tell your parents. Go to a specialist who helps people deal with such issues personally. There will be plenty of people who can help you with therapy sessions and more professional one-on-one help. This guide is not for extreme depression and extreme cases but it may help a bit. For severe issues, I recommend professional help. 

depression

It’s okay to ask for help. Your happiness has no price. Money can be earned. But you cannot get back the time you lost. Move on from your breakup.

I hope you got the ray of hope you needed to move on from your ex. It’s never easy. It’s simple but not easy. Also, a request to all readers send this to friends who are going through a breakup. They need it as well. Help each other. If you have questions about breakups and moving on then comment them down below. I would be happy to help.

Never give up. Work hard and let your success make the noise!!!

Need more advice? Here are some amazing videos to help you move on from breakups

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.